It's a fact that if you attempt to sneak out of your apartment at 6:40 am sans bra and in your holey "Wild North Minnesota" t-shirt in order to take your puppy out for a quick potty break and your 90 year old registered sex offender pedophile neighbor steps out his front door in an undershirt and his not-so-tighty-not-so-whities to quickly grab his paper your puppy will not quickly and silently get his business done so that you can stealthily escape to your apartment and attempt to get the image out of your brain. No, instead, your puppy will bark at said pedophile in his droopy drawers and make you think for a second that you might have to run over to Mr. Sex Offender and grab your wriggling puppy from between his legs, and even though this does not occur, it does not mean that your brain doesn't run this scenario past you about 5,000,000 times an hour in vivid technicolor for the rest of the day, resulting in you accomplishing nothing for the next 12 to 21 hours except sitting in your dark closet in the fetal position and singing "Little Purple Pansies" while slowly rocking back and forth and twisting your hair.
How has your day been?
3 comments:
my day was definitely much better than yours!
I am soooooo sorry.
Oh, don't worry, Maurs. You're not his type.
Kinda like how we felt our last year at BYU: Waaaaaaaay too old.
I'm not worried about being his type as much as I reeeeeally didn't want to have to grab my puppy from between his creepy old man legs. The sex offender angle just made it all the more disturbing.
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