Tuesday Musings....

1. KSL.com classifieds have 94 listings for beanbag chairs for sale. There's an entire category in furniture for beanbags alone. I don't know how I feel about that.

2. I know it's bad for the envirnonment, but Diet Coke tastes soooooo much better from a styrofoam cup. Add in crunchy Sonic ice and it's seriously over the top.

3. Bob's peppermint candy canes are the best peppermints ever. Hands down.

4. Butternut squash is delicious.

5. Las Vegas after a good long rain storm is clean and bright. I didn't know that was possible.

6. I'm pretty stoic about the rumors swirling that Brangelina are breaking up.

7. I'm taking great delight in designing groupings of pictures/items to hang on my wall.

8. I'm going on an Alaskan cruise this summer with my sister and parents. Even though it's months away, I'm getting really excited about it.

9. The computers in my classroom are out to get me.

10. I really need to go to the dentist. But I keep putting it off.

11. I find Zachary Levi from Chuck absolutely endearing.

(Oh look! My musings go to eleven.)

A little help for my friend...

My wonderful friend Jillian over at Sunny Little Raincloud is attempting something truly wonderful. It would be awesome if you could head on over to her website and consider contributing to a truly wonderful cause.

Thanks

To add, or not to add, that is the question.

As my students take their semester 1 finals I check my email. Advertisement, advertisement, email from Mom, Facebook friend request.

From Him.

A boy I loved at 18.

A boy who hurt me.

A boy I'd washed my hands of, but here he is, begging me to add him as a friend.

"Let's catch up!" he says. Catch up on what? How I've managed to go on living without you telling me how to do every little thing? On the "good times"?

"Please, please, please add me!" he begs. Over 15 years have passed and yet, I still feel the tug to capitulate. I am such a pleaser, and he seems to remember that. How can it be that I still care what this person thinks of me? Never mind the fact that he was emotionally abusive; I feel the need to make him happy once again.

and the kicker:

"I finally found you!" Here's the master stroke. The winning line. He's been searching for me, you see. I have been on his mind. Suddenly I'm 18 again and here's this boy who NEEDS me.

What can it hurt? It doesn't mean anything. I mean, look at all of the other people I've added. I comfort myself that he's unhappy and looking for old friends, that I'm in a much better place than him.

I add him as a friend. My stomach roils.

I look at his profile. Married. Three kids.

It hurts just to see his face.

Why did I do this? Does it mean I'm weak that he can hurt me just by existing? Would it be a sign of weakness to remove him now that I've added him?

Suddenly, I'm back in Melissa's truck parked next to him at a red light pretending to laugh so that I don't cry.

What do I do if he sends me a message? What if he wants to apologize? What does he want from me?

I don't care if it means I'm weak. I remove him from my list of "friends". As meaningless as that word has become I can't have him there.

My stomach settles.

Back to the finals.

Needed: Yard. STAT!!

It won't come as a shock to anyone who knows me well that I really wish I had a backyard. For one, I have the cutest little dog in the world, and I'd love to be able to open the back door and send him out to poop late at night or early in the morning. I'm sure my neighbors who get to witness me in all my pajama-ed glory would also appreciate me having a yard of my own. For two, Austen seriously LOVES to runinandoutandinandoutandinandout of my sister's doggie door and would love to have one of his very own.

But.

The most important reason I'd like to have a backyard, is because then I could invite Jamie Durie to make it into an "Outdoor Room" for me.





I'm not much of a gardner by nature, but I think Jamie could convince me for several reasons:

1. He's GOhohohohoorgeous.
2. He's Australian (meeyow)
3. He loves dogs



4. He's from a part of Sydney named, I kid you not, Manly, Australia.
5. He creates incredibly beautiful gardens.






and, if those aren't reason enough, there's always this:



Yeah. He hangs with Oprah.

I know.

Yes. I'm a dork

But my long forgotten crush on Jimmy Fallon? BACK ON BABY. Why? Because of this impromptu little concert with my idol Miss Piggy and other various muppets:




And Kermit? I've never stopped crushing on you.

(found via bestweekever.tv )