1. A roadside sign proclaiming "TIKI'S!!! Followed by a guy with a bunch of these
in the back of his truck. It made me wonder a couple of things.
a. Is a carved tiki really something you'd buy at the spur of the moment from a road side vendor? I mean, it's not a bag of oranges or a fabric wall hanging of Bob Marley. It's a huge carved log with a terrifying face carved into it. I would think that as far as a design element goes, a tiki is a commitment. It's not like they "go" with everything. It's not like you can put it in the corner of your yard and it'll blend in. I'm fairly certain it makes a statement (a statement that says "It's 5 o'clock somewhere! Party!!!! Time to get my beer goggles on! Whoo Hoooo!!" Something like that)
b. When must people use apostrophes where no apostrophes are needed? It's Tikis, not Tiki's, unless Tiki Barber has decided to randomly display some of his own personal belongings at the side of the road for kicks. Come ON people!!
2. A man, at least 60 years old, waxing his SUV in my condo parking lot to the sultry sounds of George Michael's "Kissing a Fool". Annnnnnd he was singing along. Loud. In the parking lot. TO GEORGE MICHAEL. Hmmmm.
3. Earlier this week while I was in the middle of walking Austen I noticed car full of Japanese people looking in my direction while talking, smiling, and pointing in the manner of a group of 15 year olds who've just spotted Robert Pattison. Then one of the women opened the car door and ran across the parking lot saying "I love this dog! I had this dog! This English dog! Where did you get?" While crouching down and grabbing at Austen. Let me tell you something about my little man: in public, he'll run up to random people like he wants them to pet him, but actually he'd rather they didn't touch him. He's not sure it's hygenic, or where their hands have been, and ummmmmm..... nothankyouverymuch. This lady was NOT to be deterred, however and although my dog had his ears down and was hiding behind my legs she was sure that he liked her. Then the rest of the family climbed out of the car. By this time Austen was so freaked out that he didn't even want to pretend anymore. He sat down behind me and started to softly whine, his anxiety overwhelming him. I picked him up to calm him down and the lady said, "Give him to me. He loves me. I want to hold!" and grabbed him. He cried out in pain (totally fake) and looked at me through fearful bulging eyes. Instead of noticing this very OBVIOUS show of canine fear she looked triumphantly at me and crowed "See!! HE LOVES ME!!" Sure lady. Sure. When I finally got my dog back from her she asked me, "Do you walk this way everyday??" I smiled and said, "Sometimes" while thinking "NEVER AGAIN!!" Unlike most days when at the end of a walk Austen looks at me in censure and disappointment as if to say, "You're a terrible mother. Aunt Christy would have walked me longer.", after our experience he ran all the way home and immediately went into his crate as soon as I took off his leash.
I don't think he's cut out to be famous.
