The Hills of Yucca Valley

An ode to the mother land...

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

So how was YOUR Friday?

So, it's officially Winter Break as of today. I'm happy to have the next two weeks off, especially considering the fact that I finished grading the mountain of papers and projects on my desk before leaving school yesterday so I won't have to feel guilty about not grading them in all of my free time. Cuz, no matter what, I WON'T grade papers on break. I WON'T! I WON'T! I WON'T!

Normally the second my body leaves official CCSD air space I morph from Respsonsible English Teacher Me into Vacation Mode Me.

V.M.M. likes to wear pajamas for an inordinate amount of time, eat food that makes me fat and queasy, shop for unneccessary items, and forget she has a job.

R.E.T. is dilligent and (appropriately) loves teenagers.

V.M.M. sleeps in and wants to bean teenagers in the head with popcorn at movies.

I know. I know. I'm complex.

Anyway, this year's V.M.M. kickoff just hasn't gone as planned. "Why?" you may ask?

Welllllllll..... It started like this:

I woke up early for the first time in my life. I had a nice morning walk with Austen, got ready and was driving on the freeway to work when I heard the unmistakable flump flump flump of a:



Luckily David was home and is WONDERFUL. He came, picked me up and took me to work and then went back, put the donut on the wheel and got my car back to my apartment. (He's currently my favorite person.) I thought, "I'll get one of my friends to give me a ride home. No problem!" except one thing.

I'd given David my keys that morning so that he could fix the whole tire thing. This included the key to my apartment. Normally, this would not have been a big deal, but my heater's been broken and conditions in my apartment have been a little bit like this:



for the past week. So much so, that I've been considering buying one of these babies:



and I'd finally gotten an appointment with a heating and air conditioning repairman. Of course, I'd set a 2:30 appointment. I wasn't going to be able to meet David at my apartment until 2:45 at the earliest, but I thought, "These guys are never on time. I'll be fine." But NOOOOOOOO! for the first time in the history of repairmen, the guy was on time and because of another job across town could not wait one minute past 2:45. I didn't get home until 2:50, but the guy was nice and stayed.

He was also cute and friendly. I thought that just maybe my day was looking up. He looked at my heater and said, "You're not going to like me very much. I can't fix this. You see, the heat in your apartment is created by hot water that flows through this pipe and then the air blows over it and is heated. You need to call a plumber."



A plumber to fix my heater? Oh silly me, why didn't I think of that? By the way, my heater uses a water pipe to create heat? Whatthe?!?

But, I couldn't think about it right then. I had to go and get my tire fixed. I called Discount Tires and they told me to come right in and they'd have me in and out in about 45 minutes. Good enough.

I went and after spending $250 that I don't have I sat for 2 hours. 2 HOURS spent watching everyone who came in after me leave before me. After the first hour my car hadn't even been touched and I went up to the guy who checked me in and said, "You told me 45 minutes. It's been an hour and three people who came in after me have left already. My car hasn't been touched."

The kid looked at me, clearly bored and said, "I'm sorry." He was sincere. I'm just sure of it.

After that, I'd lost my will to live. So, I'm sitting here in my cold apartment, attempting to will V.M.M. into existence. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm Dreaming of a Celluloid Christmas...

My friend Melissa recently posted the four movies she HAS to watch each year during Christmas and New Years. It got me thinking and I decided to do the same thing.

So, here goes:

#1



I know it's not a Christmas movie. They don't ever decorate a tree or give gifts, but there's something about this movie that touches my soul this time of year. I love the songs; I love Salzburg, Austria; I love the costumes; and most of all, I love Julie Andrews. The opening vision of Andrews in the Alps singing "The hills are alive with the sound of music" gives me chills just thinking about it, but it's the song "My Favorite Things" that I love most of all.



Maybe it's because Christmas break is the only time I have to watch a film this long, but I watch it every year about this time. And sing. Out loud. Alone. In my apartment.

#2



I just watched the remake (starring Dylan McDermott, hubba hubba) with my brother and sister-in-law and it's cute, but there's nothing like the original. They've colorized this one, but I'd recommend seeing it as intended in black and white. Although it was made in 1947 this one feels remarkable current to me. Maureen O'Hara is fantastic, the clothes are beautiful, and Natalie Wood: puleeeeeease. No other child has been that adorable or that smart on film, ever.



If you haven't seen this one, trust me, you're missing out.


#3



If you don't like old school musicals with big production numbers and improbable plots then this one's not for you. But, if you're still willing to give it a chance, I have two words for you: Rosemary Clooney.




This is billed as a Bing Crosby film, but to me, the star is and always will be Ms. Clooney. Added to that is the fact that she's singing Irving Berlin's music and BAM! You've got yourself a big time movie.

Hearing Rosemary Clooney and Bing Crosby singing "Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep" or watching the four main characters dressed in full Santa gear singing "White Christmas"? FUGGETABOUTIT. There are some low points (The number "Choreography" is one) , and you have to watch Danny Kaye (who I kind of see as that generation's Jim Carrey) pull a lot of silly faces, but the high points, to me, make this a yearly must see.

#4




There's a Will Ferrell movie on my must watch list. I can hardly believe it myself. But I love this movie, and it's proof that he's capable of being simultaneously sweet and hilarious, and I have watched it every Christmas since it was released. How can you not love a movie with lines like these:

"First we'll make snow angels for two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle."

or

"I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR."

I don't think it's possible.
Buddy the Elf, "I love you. I love you! I LOOOOOOOVE YOU!"
And I agree, "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." (see #1 on my list)



There's my list. What movies do you watch every year? Any suggestions for me?

And you said Buffy the Vampire Slayer was unrealistic.

On Buffy the Vampire Slayer (AKA: How vampires SHOULD be portrayed in media) Season 5, Spike, in a fit of obsessive love for Buffy, forced a desperate nerd to create a robotic Buffy who would love him back. At the time it was a hilarious but unrealistic commentary on unrequited love. I enjoyed the storyline immensely.

Flash forward a few years: A Japanese man living in Canada has created what he refers to as "the perfect woman". She's a robot.




Yeah. Who knew Joss Whedon was so prophetic?

So much about this bothers me, but I'll share a few quotes from the article and comment on them.

"SHE is the perfect wife, with the body of a Page 3 pin-up and housekeeping skills that put TV’s Kim and Aggie to shame.
Her name is Aiko, she can even read a map, and will never, ever, nag."

In other words, I should put "excellent navigational skills" and "handy with a vacuum" on my LDSSingles.com profile, but might not want to mention that I have ideas of my own.

"Devoted Aiko — “in her 20s” — has a stunning 32-23-33 figure, pretty face and shiny hair."

Oh dear. I'm definitely past my sell by date.

"She is always happy to clean the house for “husband” Le, help with his accounts or get him a drink."

Note to self: enroll in Geisha courses.

And for the "You, sir, are a freak of nature!" file:

"The couple often go for a drive in the countryside, where Aiko proves a whizz at directions.
And they always sit down for dinner together in the evening, although Aiko doesn’t have much of an appetite."

Ok, this one is for the inventor directly. "You are aware, sir, that you are taking a ROBOT for a drive, right? She's NOT real. On the bright side, you're saving money on food and she'll never get chunky on you."


"Le says his relationship with Aiko hasn’t strayed into the bedroom, but a few “tweaks” could turn her into a sexual partner."

Ewwwwwww! Just Ewwwwww!

I am not touching that one. In fact, I wish I had a time machine so that I could go back in time and NOT read that part of the article.

There is some hope for Aiko, though. She's not a complete moron:

"Le said: “Women usually try to talk to her. But men always want to touch her, and if they do it the wrong way she slaps them.”

Maybe those pervs should look into this:



(FYI:This clip is the reason I have a crush on Sam Waterson to this day. Law and Order? Whatever.)

Not yet...Maybe later?

I was talking to a couple of friends at work this week who'd never seen this little chestnut. This has got to be one of my favorite things on film ever. Enjoy:



Enjoy.

Two things I love:

Mormon boys and synchronized swimming. . . Enjoy:



Thanks Meredith for the tip

It's all over but the wearing of silly hats...

I went to my final class as a master's student at UNLV tonight. I turned in my sub-par paper, went to dinner with my friend Becky, and it's over. I can scarcely believe it myself. If I so choose, I will not have to ever go back to the UNLV campus after next Tuesday when I walk in graduation.

A couple of my professors want me to start working on my doctorate, like yesterday, but I am looking forward to a little while of just being a teacher, member of the AVID Training Cadre, and teaching professional development classes for the district. (I know. I don't know how to say no) I'm looking forward to coming home after school and reading books FOR PLEASURE again. I'm looking forward to naps and summers spent trying to fill my time.

I know that I'll feel a little lost in a couple of weeks when this all sinks in and I will start looking for ways to fill my time. I've been considering a couple of things....



First of all, I've lost all of my excuses for not working out, and I'm tired of being fat and feeling like crap. I really want to get on this one.



I could pick up an old favorite: cross stitch. That way I could become "The Cross Stitcher of Light". Watch out everybody, you could have one of these babies heading your way.



Maybe I'll pick up a new skill? I've actually thought about this one, but don't know where to go about learning, since I don't learn skills too well from books. We'll see. I'd love to be able to knit, even if it's just scarves.



and I haven't scrapbooked in two years. Almost two years exactly. Of course, the scrapbooks I'll be creating will be Austen: The Early Years. I swear, any day I'll be dressing him like a baby and pushing him around in a stroller.



I could get down to business and write that book I've always thought about, but if I do that I might as well consider climbing this:



'cause it sounds like the same amount of effort to me.

What I'd love to do is go back to England and stalk this guy:



But I don't have the money.

Any suggestions?

Bice Advice

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Things have been crrrraaaaazzzyyyy since Thanksgiving. I'll catch you up later, but thought I'd send a little bit of bedazzled wisdom your way. Enjoy.





I often think of [Uncle Joe] as I sit at my design table surrounded by fabric swatches and appliques... He used to say that life was like eating a Hershey's Bar...If you eat it all at once, it will come right back up and there will be no joy in it...He would say, "Life is to be lived one chunk at a time. Remember Jeannie Marie, slow and steady wins the race."

There's nothing like an analogy that involves puking up candy. It really paints a picture, doesn't it?

Thank you Uncle Joe. Thank you.

*Admit it, you're a better person just for reading that.