Saturday, March 29, 2008

The Planned Man. . .

I finally decided to take this whole Man Plan thing into my own hands. . .

Here he is, my main man......



AUSTEN!! (As in Jane, not as in "If this is Austin, I still love you...")

I know, I know, it's not one of the names I had you chime in on. It's not that I don't value your opinions, it's just that all of the names I had come up with at that point weren't right. It's the reason why I couldn't decide on one and had to ask your opinions in the first place.

My sister Christy and I were mulling over some name options through email, and she suggested Austen. It was a name I'd considered MONTHS ago and discarded, thinking it was too common, but when Christy suggested it to me it was just right. So, I will have a boy that makes me not only think of my boyfriend Mr. Darcy, but also Captain Fredrick Wentworth and all of the other delicious Jane Austen heroes.

Let's have another look, shall we?



Isn't he darling? I haven't brought him home yet (he's still too little), but it was fun to see his open eyes and chubby little body as he played with his brothers and sisters. He's a mellow little guy, and I think I need mellow in my life right now.



But check out that cheeky little look on his face. . . I think he might have enough snark to fit into this family. We like a little edge in our corgis.

Wednesday, March 26, 2008

The 10th Circle of Hell...

Have I mentioned that I HATE teaching high school students how to write research papers? I think I might have once or twice. Anywhooooooo....

It's excruciatingly bad. So bad that I truly believe that if Dante were alive today, he'd have to add a tenth ring of hell.

My belief is that this ring is reserved for the impatient souls of the world who from time to time shoot fire from their eyes when their lovely students ask the same inane question that ten or so have asked before them, even though said question was answered in the 1. verbal directions 2. written directions and 3. the example displayed on the big screen in the front of the room and posted online for them to pick up.



The punishment is an eternal cycle of repeatedly reading and commenting on the same rough draft of a research paper wherein the writer has NEVER actually applied any of the comments the punished has previously given.

That would be torture, wouldn't it? I'm so glad that I don't have to go through that!

Next week: More Standardized Testing! Yeah!!

Monday, March 24, 2008

The Truth ...


I can't quite get excited about losing weight. I'll admit it. I'm having a hard time focusing. I know I'm fat and unhealthy and I need to work on it, I know that I feel like crap when I eat my body weight in Cadbury Mini Eggs or Cool Ranch Doritos, I know that I feel wonderful when I eat salads and work out daily. I know these things. I do. I know how great I felt when I was thin and cute and men tried to pick me up at Trader Joe's (This is much different than being hit on by old men at Wal-Mart. Trust me.). I do.

Why is it, then that I can't focus and do what I need to do in order to lose weight? Why do I do this thing to myself time and time again? Huh?

I do know that when I did the whole Weight Watchers thing before I had a FANTASTIC leader and supportive group. That helped. In addition, I wasn't trying to run a large educational program, plan a class on summarization techniques for the District office, and take two very intensive classes for my Master's Degree. Maybe that has something to do with it all.

Oh well. If anyone out there has any advice/comments/stories to share, feel free. I need some MOTIVATION!!!

On a happy note, I get my new puppy in two weeks! I'll be posting more about this in the days to come including pictures and finally. . . his NAME!! (It's good. I can't wait to share. Those of you who already know. . . keep it under your hats)

Monday, March 17, 2008

A Dying Breed...

I was watching the Today Show, well, today,(Clever title, they've got there, init?) and they had a little story about the fact that natural redheads will be extinct in 100 years. There's a guy who is so upset about this that he's set up a website to stop this from happening.



The idea of red heads becoming extinct has me depressed. Of course, my natural color is not as red as the current shade I'm sporting, but this saddens me. WHY?? Because I loves me some red headed men. I know, I know. Most of you are saying "WHAT?!?!?" because you've all been brainwashed into believing that all red headed men look like this:



Or This:



But let me chime in on this one for a little bit. I went to college believing this lie. Then came HIM. I don't know HIS name, I never have actually spoken to HIM, but I will tell you that I could describe to you every single inch of HIS BEAUTIFUL face. HE was the most gorgeous creature I had ever lain eyes on, and he had red hair. He was a fellow student at BYU, and because the stars were aligned, or because I needed to rethink my stance on red-headed boys (developed because of the aforementioned and a boy in my ward growing up who was a HUGE dork and thought everyone picked on him because he had red hair. . . FYI, P.W., we picked on you 'cause you were a whiny weenie who couldn't take a joke, but if you need to blame it on your red hair, be my guest), I somehow managed to see him on campus nearly every day for the first two years of college. We never had any classes together, had no friends in common, and I never discovered his name, but I loved him with a love as pure and true as it is possible to feel for a person you've never actually spoken two words (or even one) to.

At first, I thought it was an abberation, but I've realized that, yes, there are some uggos out there with red hair, but when a red headed man is hot, he's hotter than any other. You can disagree with me, you can laugh, but you can't change my mind on this one. Nope. Nuh Uh. Don't even try.

And in case you need some convincing, there's always my boyfriend Toby Stephens:



OR.... Delicious Damien Lewis:



Mmmmmmm. Let's look at that again, shall we?





Soooooooo.... if you know of any hunky red headed men, I don't mind if you turn up your nose. . . just send 'em my way.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Clearing the Air

I just wanted to go on record that I love my friend Melissa and do not blame or hold her responsible for any opinions shared by this woman, or this one, or even this one. I am, as many of you know, an extremely neurotic person. I react to things. I do not blame those who send me articles as food for thought. I love my friends. I want to keep them and hold them and pet them and love them and call their names George. So, if I've hurt any feelings, I'm sorry. It was unintentional.

No. Really. What's wrong with me?

So another old man hit on me at Wal-Mart last night.

1. Is THIS my demographic?



2. I don't want anyone looking that closely at my chest.

3. What is wrong with me?

4. Don't answer that question. Even though I have begged you.

5. I don't have anything else to add, but I had to get to five. That way I can breathe. . .darn OCD!

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Chex Mix Redux


Go and buy these. Eat them. Smile. Chocolate(ish) and Caramel for 100 Calories? FABULOUS!!

Ahhhhh Logic, thou art my friend.

Maybe it was because I'm exhausted. Maybe it was because I deal with an obscene amount of nonesense on a daily basis. Maybe it was because the article poked at the soft underbelly of all of my fears and neuroses, but I have been in a kind of funk over this article. I didn't believe everything she said, but I felt like I'd been kicked in the gut. Repeatedly. By steel toed boots. I can't blame it completely for my feelings on the matter, I've been in a funk. . . there's no doubt. All of this teaching high school and running an AVID program, and trying to complete my Master's Degree has taken a toll, and maybe the article was just the nail in the coffin.

Anywhooo, my darling friend Melissa who'd sent the thing in the first place, also told me to read this response.

Ahhhh logic. How do I love thee? So many ways. Seriously I could almost kiss the woman who wrote it, because she put so eloquently what I have always believed to be true, when I'm not in a pit of despair. Whew! I feel so much better.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Na na na na na na na na It's Puppy Time!

Hey everyone. I'm getting a puppy! Yep. I real live, Pembroke Welsh Corgi puppy. He's a boy. (I first typed "goy" and although it is accurate that he's NOT Jewish, I didn't think it fully expressed what I was trying to convey) Right now he looks more like an alien than a corgi:



But will one day look more like this:



Here's my dilemma, and I need your help. This isn't JUST a shameless plea for comments, I really need your help. I cannot decide on a name for this boy. Here are the current options:

1. Dr. Jack Shepherd "Jack"
2. Toby Stephens "Toby"
3. Atticus Finch "Atticus"
4. Mr. Rochester "Chester"
5. Nicholas Ryan "Nick"

HELP!! If you have any additional suggestions for names, please share. Remember, I'm an English teacher and prefer literary ones.

Monday, March 10, 2008

Daylight Savings Time Out


I hate daylight savings time and it's set-your-clocks-ahead-one-hour-and-screw-up-your-internal-clock nonsense. I mean really. What is the point exactly? Does this really save us energy and money? And, if it does, in fact save us money (which I doubt) doesn't the hassle negate that? I know that Arizona is kinda crazy and all, but I'm with them on this one. Humph!!

Thursday, March 6, 2008

three things. . . maybe four

1. It was my mom's birthday this Wednesday. Let me just tell you...she is the best mom EVER. I know a lot of people think this about their moms, but I'm right. Example: She used to wake up every morning when we were in high school and cook us a hot breakfast. I know, I know. That's good. But wait, there's more: She did this before early morning seminary. That means she got up before 5 am in order to do this (and because there are six of us and we're spaced roughly 2 years apart, she did this for 13 years) The other kids in seminary were insanely jealous. I remember one guy who got ANGRY whenever it was "Pancake Day". Of course, my brother Matthew and I lied to him on "Oatmeal Day" more than once. It was fun watching him get angry, and trust me, if you'd had my Seminary teacher for Old Testament you'd need to find fun when ever and where ever you could! When my high school friends complained about their mothers, or told us how much they embarrassed them, I had nothing to add. I was never embarrased by my mom, never "hated" her the way teenaged girls are wont to do, and, because my sisters left home en masse after my freshman year in high school, relied on her wise advice and counsel. I still do. My mom and I had a lot of one on one time together (because of the mass sister exodus mentioned above)while I was a snotty, self conscious teenager, and I'm so grateful. I love her. She's never forgotten that she's my mother, but she's been my friend too. I love that.

So, here's my shame. On her birthday this year, did I write an ode to my mother? No. My sister-in-law did. Thanks a lot Emily! You made me look bad! Humph!

2. My friend Melissa sent me this article. It's about single women and the whole "Do I settle and get married, or wait for Prince Charming and die alone" debate. I read it, and at first, I was really detached and philosophical, even thinking that it brought some interesting points. Yada yada yada, and now I'm depressed 'cause, in the words of my fabulous friend Jill "I don't even recall having the OPPORTUNITY to settle, let alone thumbed my nose at that option." I've been kinda sad about this whole thing. I am going to die alone...with a hairy chin and twenty corgis all named for fictional male characters so unrealistically manly or wonderful that they make all real men look sad and pathetic. My nieces and nephews are going to have to force their kids to come see me, and I'll get so fat that they'll have to cut a hole in the side of my house to remove my bloated disgusting corpse. So, thanks Melissa, for the food for thought!

3. I hate teaching sophomores to write research papers.


4. In spite of 3 different birthday parties, 5 cakes, and 2 birthday dinners at restaurants and one trip to Cafe Rio (Pork Barbecoa! Yummmmmmmm) I lost 2.4 pounds this week. That means I've lost 8.2 so far. WOOT!

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Wednesday morning confession...



Confession: I love fast food breakfast sandwiches. I looooove them. They are greasy, totally unhealthy, and leave me feeling slightly bloated, queasy, and filled with self loathing. But I get over those feelings and give in time and time again. I'm trying to lose weight and be healthy, so they are not a part of my diet any longer. This makes me sadder than I care to admit.

So, yesterday when I was in the freezer section of my grocery store I saw that Weight Watchers has a English muffin breakfast sandwich with Canadian bacon. Yes. An Egg McMuffin rip off. I bought it with fear and trepidation, knowing that it wouldn't satiate my fast food cravings, but willing to be proven wrong. And.... I WAS! It was yummy and cheesy, and totally hit the spot! So, I'm recommending it to all of you who also have this secret breakfast shame. I enjoyed the entire eating experience and I don't feel the slightest bit bloated or filled with self hate. Two thumbs up!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Insubordination


I had to write up one of my students today for the first time since I started working at A-Tech. It was totally justified and the only thing I could do, but it still frustrates me. I just don't send kids to the office. I don't. I didn't when I taught in the hood and I don't now. I have always had really good classroom discipline and managment, and frankly, I'm willing to deal with quite a bit.

The write up today makes me doubly sad because it was one of my AVID students and a kid that I genuinely love. She's had a rough year, and her bizarre reactions to everything only compound that. Until very recently, she was good for me, but suddenly she's decided that I am the enemy along with everyone else. She makes snotty comments every time I say anything and refuses to participate appropriately in class. I've tried to reason with her, I've tried to understand her, and I've finally had to just give up. I hate that this is the case, because I know that she has greatness inside her.

So, I know it was justified, and I'm not beating myself up about this, but I'm sad. I just hate to see a kid with so much potential decide to squander it and alienate everyone around her.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

It's my party and I'll get mushy if I want to..


It's my birthday today. Yep. I'm getting one step closer to really really old. I woke this morning and thought, "It's my birthday." and then I rolled over and went back to sleep for a little while. When I got out of bed later, I began thinking about birthdays past and how I used to feel when I woke up on my birthday. I used to positively tingle with anticipation when I awoke on my b-day, much like I did on Christmas or when my family was going to Disneyland.

My mom hated little kid birthday parties and, being the evil genius that she is, made a deal with us that if we would forego the birthday party with friends, she and Dad would take us out to dinner at any restaurant we wanted in Palm Springs. Just Mom, Dad, and you. I'm sure this doesn't sound like a huge deal to those of you NOT raised in a family of six or more children, but to have time all to your own with Mom and Dad was a big deal, as was getting to go out to a nice restaurant. I loved this tradition, and would plan for months beforehand which restaurant I would choose, and what I would wear.

A couple of times the roads to Palm Springs flooded on my birthday and we were trapped in YV. That was SUCH a dissappointment. All of that planning for naught! One of those years we ended up at a local Mexican restaurant and when my dad told them it was my birthday, they plopped an enormous sombrero on my head and the guys who wash dishes came out with maracas and sang, "Happy Birthday" WAAAAAAAAAAAY out of tune, and in broken English. I could have handled this in Palm Springs, miles away from all who knew me, but I was 17 and this was my VERY SMALL hometown! I was mortified as only a teenaged girl could be, and REEEEEEALLY hoped that A. J. (who I liked at the time) did NOT walk in at that moment. He didn't, and now that I look back on it, it was hilarious. If that happened now, I'd revel in the absolute kitschy wonder of it all. Such things are wasted on teenagers (and I say that with all of the warmth and tenderness I feel for teenagers.)

I managed to convince my mother when I was in the 5th grade that I NEEDED a slumber party. I had about 10 girls over, we laughed, we cried, we fought, Helen got upset and spent some time pouting on the deck, my sisters made fun of all of my friends unmercilessly (Helen was called "Hot Stuff" for years by Christy and Jamie 'cause of the super cool, hot pink 80's t-shirt she wore to my party that said, well, "HOT STUFF!" across her chest.), we made pizza, and in the morning I was thrilled to see them all leave, although, I'm sure my mother was MUCH more thrilled. Bless my mother, who HATES birthday parties, for allowing me to have 10 snotty, loud, and obnoxious 5th grade girls invade our home for the night. It is a testament to how much she loves me that she did, and I tear up almost twenty years later thinking about it.

When I went to college I had the best friends/roommates in the world. Seriously, we loved each other so much that we rarely left our apartment. Luckily it was an apartment with a bust of Elvis, a disco ball, and the COOLEST girls at BYU. Therefore, we were rarely alone, it's just that other people had to come to us, and they did. We met one guy 'cause he saw our disco ball through the window and said, "I just knew I had to come up here and dance with you." So he did. We spent pretty much every waking moment together and, more importantly we appreciated each other and were kind to each other. We rarely fought, and when we did, we made it right. I wish it were not true, but this is rare for a group of girls in college or any time, really. My sister Christy used to make fun of us, calling us The Borg, but I think it was mostly out of jealousy. :)(For those of you who don't know to what she's referring, first: pat yourselves on the back. You do not watch Star Trek. I'm proud of you. Second: The Borg is a collective where each member is only a part of the whole and has no distinct personality or thought. HA HA HA!)

Birthdays were a HUGE deal. As roommates we always went out of our way to make sure that the birthday girl felt loved and special.

My best friend during college was Melissa, and she always spearheaded my birthday celebrations. One year she went through the J. Crew catalogue,(which we as uber poor college students could afford next to nothing from. We looked at it purely for the beautiful men in it, chosing which models were our boyfriends, giving them names, making up our dates. . . Hey! We were young, I'd never do that now, and I don't have to. Toby loves me for me.)
cut out pictures of delicious models, and wrote a huge story about my true love, who's name was Erik if I remember correctly, searching for me and fighting off all of the other models (with the exception of her "boyfriend" "Evan") for my affections. Then she hung a poster on the wall for everyone to write what they loved about me.

Another year, my roommates created a timeline of my life in picture form that they hung all around the livingroom including a picture representing the moment when each of them met me.

Blame it on my middle child syndrome, but I'd never felt so important and loved as I did during those years at BYU with my silly, bizarre, beautiful, and utterly amazing tribe. I still miss them every birthday, and many other days in between. Thank you ladies, for loving me like you did and do. I'm still amazed that such incredible women want ME for a friend.

So, on my 34th birthday, Mom, Dad, and my dear sweet BYU friends, thank you for being some of my most treasured gifts.