The Man Plan take 2

Hey everyone,
I know it's been a long time since I've updated, and I apologize. I will say in my defense that it's been a long couple of weeks. I've been insanely busy and sick, so that makes for little to no time for any writing. Sorry. Today, however, I'm feeling pretty good, so I thought I'd update.

I am happy to say that as of yesterday morning I've hired 3 AVID tutors. This makes for a much happier me, and for fewer insomniac nights. That's a good thing for everyone, since I'm apparently as pleasant as Sasquatch with a head cold when I don't sleep. This was helpfully pointed out to me by my lovely students last year, so I'm trying to sleep at night for their sakes.

My AVID kids are continuing to behave beautifully, and I'm trying to trust in this miraculous change rather than waiting for the other shoe to fall. Of course, there's always a fly in the ointment, and for me, it's Cody (not his real name). Cody is a kid who I really wanted to kick out of AVID last year, but didn't have enough documentation to do so. Anyway, two of my students came to me this week and told me that he was goofing off during Chemistry instead of working on the lab and they were ticked off. I called him back to talk to him about it, and even though I had the word of two different students and could tell him exactly what he had done, he would NOT cop to it. I could not get a straight answer out of him no matter what I did. In fact, I even phrased questions so that the only possible answers would be yes or no. All to no avail. I think the thing that makes me the craziest about this is that he thinks he's outsmarted me. Let me just tell you that the day that Cody outsmarts me is the day that I will quite simply have to leap off a bridge or very tall building and fall to my very gruesome and bloody death, because I won't have anything left to live for. Rocket scientist he ain't. Added to this is the fact that two other teachers have emailed me to let me know that he refuses to follow directions and isn't completing his work. FUN FOR ME!

I've begun the great Jane Eyre experiment with my English classes. Every year I try to do something that's new and a little scary, and this year it's tackling Jane Eyre in a boy heavy school. I decided that the curriculum for 10th grade is just so male and dire that I had to throw in something by and about a woman with a happy ending. So there. Plus, I love Jane and the book to little bits and pieces. So far, although some of my students hate it (mostly boys) I'm getting positive feedback, and I love hearing from my female students how much they love the book and admire Jane as a person. We'll see how it goes.

My friend is still on the "let's get you a nice fella" idea, which she has now dubbed "The Man Plan". Her most recent idea is that I should come to the school at night and not turn off the alarm to see if any cute, single Mormon police officers show up to arrest me. She did admit that there were flaws in the plan but felt it was worth a shot. I thought differently.

Run that name by me again?

Hello everyone. I just need to say this right off the bat. . . I'M TIRED. Really. My legs and feet hurt, myhead hurts, my eyes are itchy. I'm tired. It finally all came crashing down on me today. . . .I'm back at work, and work makes you tired. I know that this is an obvious equation for most people, but I'm always surprised by it. This reminds me of (NERD ALERT!) Anya from Buffy the Vampire Slayer who said something to the effect of, "human beings are so strange. They all die, and yet they're always shocked when it happens." Too true. Joss Whedon really is a philosopher. He He He.

So, I have a great group of kids this year. I have yet to discover which class is going to drive me nuts. I know that sounds pretty pessimistic, but every high school or middle school teacher (who is honest) will tell you that every year, you have at least one class that you almost DREAD seeing come through the door. I think it's to keep a karmic balance of some sort, or an illustration of the truth that we have to know the bitter to appreciate the sweet.

Anyway, my kids seem to be sweet so far, and I'm having a fairly easy time remembering their names in context. Of course it did take the better part of the first week to realize that I was teaching both halves of a set of identical twins, rather than teaching the same boy twice. I know, I'm QUICK!! But (hee hee hee), I have a very cute, smart, and sparkly girl with perhaps the WORST name in the history of the world. Her name ends with the word, derriere. YES, her mother named her something that ends with, well, an end. I can hardly keep a straight face when I call on her, and NO ONE seems to notice that this is a name ripe for mockery. Maybe kids just don't know the word derriere. I learned it early, during a conversation between my father and our good family friend Elly about which words for the gluteous maximus were "above the line" and therefore kosher, and those which were "below the line" and became forbidden territory. I seem to remember bum, tush, and rear were "Above the line" and butt, a** (this is a family blog and that word was always so far below the line that even as an adult I can't write it in a blog that my mother reads. . . when I type the URL for her), and derrierre were below the line. Derriere was below the line mostly 'cause my dad thought it was a silly word and Elly really wanted it above the line. There's little in life that my dad enjoys more than teasing Elly, so there you go. I could give you further examples like this one time when my mom, dad, Elly and her husband Don were stuck in traffic and Elly had drunk a 32 ounce Diet Coke. . . .but I'll leave it there.