The Hills of Yucca Valley

An ode to the mother land...

Merry Christmas Everybody!

Send your own ElfYourself eCards

So how was YOUR Friday?

So, it's officially Winter Break as of today. I'm happy to have the next two weeks off, especially considering the fact that I finished grading the mountain of papers and projects on my desk before leaving school yesterday so I won't have to feel guilty about not grading them in all of my free time. Cuz, no matter what, I WON'T grade papers on break. I WON'T! I WON'T! I WON'T!

Normally the second my body leaves official CCSD air space I morph from Respsonsible English Teacher Me into Vacation Mode Me.

V.M.M. likes to wear pajamas for an inordinate amount of time, eat food that makes me fat and queasy, shop for unneccessary items, and forget she has a job.

R.E.T. is dilligent and (appropriately) loves teenagers.

V.M.M. sleeps in and wants to bean teenagers in the head with popcorn at movies.

I know. I know. I'm complex.

Anyway, this year's V.M.M. kickoff just hasn't gone as planned. "Why?" you may ask?

Welllllllll..... It started like this:

I woke up early for the first time in my life. I had a nice morning walk with Austen, got ready and was driving on the freeway to work when I heard the unmistakable flump flump flump of a:



Luckily David was home and is WONDERFUL. He came, picked me up and took me to work and then went back, put the donut on the wheel and got my car back to my apartment. (He's currently my favorite person.) I thought, "I'll get one of my friends to give me a ride home. No problem!" except one thing.

I'd given David my keys that morning so that he could fix the whole tire thing. This included the key to my apartment. Normally, this would not have been a big deal, but my heater's been broken and conditions in my apartment have been a little bit like this:



for the past week. So much so, that I've been considering buying one of these babies:



and I'd finally gotten an appointment with a heating and air conditioning repairman. Of course, I'd set a 2:30 appointment. I wasn't going to be able to meet David at my apartment until 2:45 at the earliest, but I thought, "These guys are never on time. I'll be fine." But NOOOOOOOO! for the first time in the history of repairmen, the guy was on time and because of another job across town could not wait one minute past 2:45. I didn't get home until 2:50, but the guy was nice and stayed.

He was also cute and friendly. I thought that just maybe my day was looking up. He looked at my heater and said, "You're not going to like me very much. I can't fix this. You see, the heat in your apartment is created by hot water that flows through this pipe and then the air blows over it and is heated. You need to call a plumber."



A plumber to fix my heater? Oh silly me, why didn't I think of that? By the way, my heater uses a water pipe to create heat? Whatthe?!?

But, I couldn't think about it right then. I had to go and get my tire fixed. I called Discount Tires and they told me to come right in and they'd have me in and out in about 45 minutes. Good enough.

I went and after spending $250 that I don't have I sat for 2 hours. 2 HOURS spent watching everyone who came in after me leave before me. After the first hour my car hadn't even been touched and I went up to the guy who checked me in and said, "You told me 45 minutes. It's been an hour and three people who came in after me have left already. My car hasn't been touched."

The kid looked at me, clearly bored and said, "I'm sorry." He was sincere. I'm just sure of it.

After that, I'd lost my will to live. So, I'm sitting here in my cold apartment, attempting to will V.M.M. into existence. I'll let you know how it goes.

I'm Dreaming of a Celluloid Christmas...

My friend Melissa recently posted the four movies she HAS to watch each year during Christmas and New Years. It got me thinking and I decided to do the same thing.

So, here goes:

#1



I know it's not a Christmas movie. They don't ever decorate a tree or give gifts, but there's something about this movie that touches my soul this time of year. I love the songs; I love Salzburg, Austria; I love the costumes; and most of all, I love Julie Andrews. The opening vision of Andrews in the Alps singing "The hills are alive with the sound of music" gives me chills just thinking about it, but it's the song "My Favorite Things" that I love most of all.



Maybe it's because Christmas break is the only time I have to watch a film this long, but I watch it every year about this time. And sing. Out loud. Alone. In my apartment.

#2



I just watched the remake (starring Dylan McDermott, hubba hubba) with my brother and sister-in-law and it's cute, but there's nothing like the original. They've colorized this one, but I'd recommend seeing it as intended in black and white. Although it was made in 1947 this one feels remarkable current to me. Maureen O'Hara is fantastic, the clothes are beautiful, and Natalie Wood: puleeeeeease. No other child has been that adorable or that smart on film, ever.



If you haven't seen this one, trust me, you're missing out.


#3



If you don't like old school musicals with big production numbers and improbable plots then this one's not for you. But, if you're still willing to give it a chance, I have two words for you: Rosemary Clooney.




This is billed as a Bing Crosby film, but to me, the star is and always will be Ms. Clooney. Added to that is the fact that she's singing Irving Berlin's music and BAM! You've got yourself a big time movie.

Hearing Rosemary Clooney and Bing Crosby singing "Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep" or watching the four main characters dressed in full Santa gear singing "White Christmas"? FUGGETABOUTIT. There are some low points (The number "Choreography" is one) , and you have to watch Danny Kaye (who I kind of see as that generation's Jim Carrey) pull a lot of silly faces, but the high points, to me, make this a yearly must see.

#4




There's a Will Ferrell movie on my must watch list. I can hardly believe it myself. But I love this movie, and it's proof that he's capable of being simultaneously sweet and hilarious, and I have watched it every Christmas since it was released. How can you not love a movie with lines like these:

"First we'll make snow angels for two hours, then we'll go ice skating, then we'll eat a whole roll of Tollhouse cookie dough as fast as we can, and then we'll snuggle."

or

"I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR."

I don't think it's possible.
Buddy the Elf, "I love you. I love you! I LOOOOOOOVE YOU!"
And I agree, "The best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear." (see #1 on my list)



There's my list. What movies do you watch every year? Any suggestions for me?

And you said Buffy the Vampire Slayer was unrealistic.

On Buffy the Vampire Slayer (AKA: How vampires SHOULD be portrayed in media) Season 5, Spike, in a fit of obsessive love for Buffy, forced a desperate nerd to create a robotic Buffy who would love him back. At the time it was a hilarious but unrealistic commentary on unrequited love. I enjoyed the storyline immensely.

Flash forward a few years: A Japanese man living in Canada has created what he refers to as "the perfect woman". She's a robot.




Yeah. Who knew Joss Whedon was so prophetic?

So much about this bothers me, but I'll share a few quotes from the article and comment on them.

"SHE is the perfect wife, with the body of a Page 3 pin-up and housekeeping skills that put TV’s Kim and Aggie to shame.
Her name is Aiko, she can even read a map, and will never, ever, nag."

In other words, I should put "excellent navigational skills" and "handy with a vacuum" on my LDSSingles.com profile, but might not want to mention that I have ideas of my own.

"Devoted Aiko — “in her 20s” — has a stunning 32-23-33 figure, pretty face and shiny hair."

Oh dear. I'm definitely past my sell by date.

"She is always happy to clean the house for “husband” Le, help with his accounts or get him a drink."

Note to self: enroll in Geisha courses.

And for the "You, sir, are a freak of nature!" file:

"The couple often go for a drive in the countryside, where Aiko proves a whizz at directions.
And they always sit down for dinner together in the evening, although Aiko doesn’t have much of an appetite."

Ok, this one is for the inventor directly. "You are aware, sir, that you are taking a ROBOT for a drive, right? She's NOT real. On the bright side, you're saving money on food and she'll never get chunky on you."


"Le says his relationship with Aiko hasn’t strayed into the bedroom, but a few “tweaks” could turn her into a sexual partner."

Ewwwwwww! Just Ewwwwww!

I am not touching that one. In fact, I wish I had a time machine so that I could go back in time and NOT read that part of the article.

There is some hope for Aiko, though. She's not a complete moron:

"Le said: “Women usually try to talk to her. But men always want to touch her, and if they do it the wrong way she slaps them.”

Maybe those pervs should look into this:



(FYI:This clip is the reason I have a crush on Sam Waterson to this day. Law and Order? Whatever.)

Not yet...Maybe later?

I was talking to a couple of friends at work this week who'd never seen this little chestnut. This has got to be one of my favorite things on film ever. Enjoy:



Enjoy.

Two things I love:

Mormon boys and synchronized swimming. . . Enjoy:



Thanks Meredith for the tip

It's all over but the wearing of silly hats...

I went to my final class as a master's student at UNLV tonight. I turned in my sub-par paper, went to dinner with my friend Becky, and it's over. I can scarcely believe it myself. If I so choose, I will not have to ever go back to the UNLV campus after next Tuesday when I walk in graduation.

A couple of my professors want me to start working on my doctorate, like yesterday, but I am looking forward to a little while of just being a teacher, member of the AVID Training Cadre, and teaching professional development classes for the district. (I know. I don't know how to say no) I'm looking forward to coming home after school and reading books FOR PLEASURE again. I'm looking forward to naps and summers spent trying to fill my time.

I know that I'll feel a little lost in a couple of weeks when this all sinks in and I will start looking for ways to fill my time. I've been considering a couple of things....



First of all, I've lost all of my excuses for not working out, and I'm tired of being fat and feeling like crap. I really want to get on this one.



I could pick up an old favorite: cross stitch. That way I could become "The Cross Stitcher of Light". Watch out everybody, you could have one of these babies heading your way.



Maybe I'll pick up a new skill? I've actually thought about this one, but don't know where to go about learning, since I don't learn skills too well from books. We'll see. I'd love to be able to knit, even if it's just scarves.



and I haven't scrapbooked in two years. Almost two years exactly. Of course, the scrapbooks I'll be creating will be Austen: The Early Years. I swear, any day I'll be dressing him like a baby and pushing him around in a stroller.



I could get down to business and write that book I've always thought about, but if I do that I might as well consider climbing this:



'cause it sounds like the same amount of effort to me.

What I'd love to do is go back to England and stalk this guy:



But I don't have the money.

Any suggestions?

Bice Advice

Sorry it's been so long since my last post. Things have been crrrraaaaazzzyyyy since Thanksgiving. I'll catch you up later, but thought I'd send a little bit of bedazzled wisdom your way. Enjoy.





I often think of [Uncle Joe] as I sit at my design table surrounded by fabric swatches and appliques... He used to say that life was like eating a Hershey's Bar...If you eat it all at once, it will come right back up and there will be no joy in it...He would say, "Life is to be lived one chunk at a time. Remember Jeannie Marie, slow and steady wins the race."

There's nothing like an analogy that involves puking up candy. It really paints a picture, doesn't it?

Thank you Uncle Joe. Thank you.

*Admit it, you're a better person just for reading that.

Something I'm thankful for...

Every Thanksgiving it's my job to make the dinner rolls. It's a long process involving multiple risings and a big mess, and I love every second of it. I love the smell of milk and honey, of yeast and flour. I love the sticky mess on my fingers and the melted butter in the bottom of the pan. I love watching the dough rise as if by magic and the beautiful brown color and smell of the rolls as you take them from the oven. Most of all I love the memories it brings back.

My paternal grandma taught me to make these rolls when I was a very little girl. I was so little that she'd put the giant ceramic bowl on a stool and bend if half while she mixed the dough so that I could help stir. She taught me the "feel" of good dough and just how to push it through the circle of your thumb and index finger so that your rolls will rise high and smooth and uniform.







She also taught me how to make her cinnamon rolls with their complicated twists containing cinnamon and sugar and caramel coated crispy bottoms.






But most importantly, by teaching me her secrets, she was telling me how much she loved me.

And, although she's been gone a long time, when I make these rolls, I feel like I'm telling her the same thing.

Bedazzled Wisdom

I'm going to admit something that will potentially cause you to lose any and all of the respect you may have for me: I like to watch QVC.

I've never actually purchased anything from QVC, although it's been close a time or two, so you may ask, "Why do you watch it?" Two words: JEANNE BICE.



For those of you who don't know the genius that is Jeanne Bice, she is the founder and creator of Quacker Factory. What is Quacker Factory, you may ask?

According to the Quacker Factory website,

"The Quacker Factory is a mythical little cottage, nestled beside the beach in a quaint Floridian seaside town. As you approach "The Factory", down a cobblestone walk, you are greeted by a charming picket fence. The sun is shining. The birds are chirping. The ocean breezes and clean salt air causes a rustle in the coconut palms. From the pond out back, you hear the occasional quacking of ducks... that are our inspiration.

Enter "The Factory" and you find open airy spaces, with billowing curtains, wide windows shaded by tropical shutters and the calming sounds of waves breaking on the beach. The floors are bleached-out pine boards and the furnishings are made of whicker with over-stuffed cushions of bright colored gingham. The walls are hung with angels galore - fresh cut flowers in vases and pails are everywhere. A huge wraparound porch affords a view of both beach and pond. Comfy patio furniture beckons you to grab a fresh ice cold lemonade and settle in. This is where we make dreams come true."
(This goes on for at least five more paragraphs, if you've got the time I highly recommend visiting the link above. Additionally, the English teacher in me would like to point out that I cut and pasted from the site. Any mistakes in spelling/grammar/punctuation are not mine.)

This is also where "we" make fashions like this:



Or this one if you're feeling particularly patriotic:



Or this one for a romantic date:


And this one lights up (no I'm not kidding), which could come in handy if when at the movies with your fella you go ahead and pick out seats while he buys the popcorn. That way when he comes into the dark movie theater you can just turn it on and he'll find you with no problems.

Anyway, Jeanne is as colorful and sparkly as her creations, and I love every minute of her headband wearing, cliched platitude spouting performances on QVC. She started as a widow with two sons to feed, a bedazzler, and a dream. Now she's like Buddha to the "Quackers" who pretty much worship the ground she walks on. They go on Quacker cruises, buy Quacker jewelry, and literally quack at her and each other. Again, I'm not kidding. I couldn't make this stuff up.

Jeanne is delightfully ditzy, sincere, and decidedly un PC. Here's my favorite Jeanne Bice moment of all time:



So, in Quacker land the score is now Christians: 1 Jews: 0.

Anyway, my sister knows my love of all things Bice and a couple of years ago bought me Jeanne's book:



What you can't see is that the cover has GLITTER!!! It's full of "sparkly flair. . .folksy charm" and! exclamation! points! To make things even better, when Jeanne writes something she finds particularly insightful, it's printed in pink. I've decided as a regular feature I'm going to share these "gems" (Get it?) with you. I can't keep them to myself any longer.

Here's the first, are you ready for it?

Dreams really do come true. So ruffle your little pink feathers and get dreaming!"

You're welcome.

It's a Wonderful Life. . . if you're not an OLD MAID.

*** Editor's note: I would like everyone reading this to note that my blog is a place wherein I relay things that pop into my head. I often exaggerate for effect. This post is an example of this. I would like to note that I am not miserable in my single state and this post is not a cry for help. So, although you may be tempted, there's really no need to leave me helpful hints for living a happy life. I'm good. Thank you, that is all.


When I was in high school I saw the classic film It's a Wonderful Life for the first time. If you know me, and I think most of you do, you know that I love all things Christmas. I'm not usually one for the super cheesy, but at Christmas time I say bring on the cheesiest, sappiest, most sugar coated sentimentality possible.

But....I must admit that I pretty much hated It's a Wonderful Life. Maybe it was the length or the glowing talking stars at the beginning. I don't know what it was back then, but I just didn't like it.

Last year my mom bought me the two dvd set of White Christmas and It's a Wonderful Life. I've watched and rewatched White Christmas, but have ignored the other until Sunday afternoon.

So, did I like it? I must say that I was absolutely charmed. Jimmy Stewart was adorable dancing the charleston and positively kissable in his old school football sweater and pants while flirting with a nearly flawless Donna Reed. I spent the majority of the film downright ashamed of high school me for hating this film until they got to the pinnacle of the "what the world would be like without George" part when he asks Clarence what happened to his wife Mary, and they lost me.

For those of you who haven't seen the film, George and Mary fall in love when Mary is just 18 and then marry a couple of years later while she's being actively pursued by a guy who goes on to make millions. So, you might expect that what George discovered is that if he were never born she went on to marry this guy and become a cold and materialistic woman, unhappy with her life. But no.

Instead, Clarence, nearly in tears, tells George, "I'm not supposed to tell you what happened to Mary George." When Jimmy Stewart demands to know the truth, a terrified and horrified Clarence practically shouts, "Mary became AN OLD MAID!"

Then, to add insult to injury (for those of us who share this awful fate), George runs down the street to find Mary, with dark circles under her eyes, a dowdy grey dress and frumpy hat, round wire rimmed glasses, leaving her job as a librarian. Even worse, when George runs up to her she shrieks in fear and FAINTS!

I'm sure all of you know this already, but I must say from the spinster perspective that it removed most of the warm tingly feelings I had for the film up until that point.

I'm not saying that having a family and a husband that loves you isn't rewarding. I'm not saying that I don't want those very things for myself. What I'm saying is, "Is my life really the worst thing you could imagine?" I would hope not.

After it finished, I found myself giggling uncontrollably whenever I thought about Clarence's big reveal, happy I'm a spinster now rather than then.

Oh well, I've got to wrap this up and go and eke out the remainder of my miserable existence. Because, if the film is to be believed, it's possible that I could be living in an alternate reality wherein my George (who is the answer to all of my problems, naturally) has become discouraged and suicidal and wishes that he'd never been born. When his Clarence makes it so he apparently decides that not existing is better than being married to me. (Coincidentally this is similar to the response of every boy/man I've ever dated, so it's entirely possible)

At least I'm not bitter.

Come What May and Love It

We had a wonderful lesson in Relief Society today, and my heart is so full that I needed to share some of what we discussed here on my blog.

Her text was Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin's October 2008 General Conference talk "Come What May and Love It". It deals with adversity and I just felt like the message was just for me.





"There may be some who think that General Authorities rarely experience pain, suffering, or distress. If only that were true. While every man and woman on this stand today has experienced an abundant measure of joy, each also has drunk deeply from the cup of disappointment, sorrow, and loss. The Lord in his wisdom does not shield anyone from grief or sadness."

"But whenever my steps led through seasons of sadness and sorrow, my mother's words often came back to me: "Come what may, and love it." How can we love days that are filled with sorrow? We can't-at least not in the moment. I don't think my mother was suggesting that we suppress discouragement or deny the reality of pain. I don't think she was suggesting that we smother unpleasant truths beneath a cloak of pretended happiness. But I do believe that the way we react to adversity can be a major factor in how happy and successful we can be in life."

Elder Wirthlin gave four things we can do to better deal with adversity:

1. Learn to laugh
2. Seek for the eternal
3. Understand the principle of compensation
"That which is taken away from those who love the Lord will be added unto them
in His own way. While it may not come at the time we desire, the faithful
know that every tear today will eventually be returned a hundredfold with tears
of rejoicing and gratitude."
4. Put your trust in our Heavenly Father and His Son.

"The Lord Jesus Christ is our partner, helper, and advocate. He wants us to be happy. He wants us to be successful. If we do our part, He will step in. He who descended below all things will come to our aid. He will comfort and uphold us. He will strengthen us in our weakness and fortify us in our distress. He will make weak things become strong."

"I know why there must be opposition in all things. Adeversity, if handled correctly, can be a blessing in our lives. We can learn to love it. As we look for humor, seek for the eternal perspective, understand the principle of compensation, and draw near to our Heavenly Father, we can endure hardship and trial. We can say, as did my mother, 'Come what may, and love it.'"

4 Things, Maybe 5

1. Quantum of Solace was only ok. But Daniel Craig did things for polo shirts that I thought impossible.



2. Bronx Mowgli Wentz? Really?! Did they lose a bet or something?

3. This week was American Education Week, and a teacher at my school always gives the kids an assignment to choose a teacher to write a thank you card for. I got about 6 this year, and they were really sweet. One in particular said that I was the most inspirational teacher she'd ever had. It made me cry and feel all warm and tingly inside. It's nice to know you make an impact.

4. I'm through fighting it. I'll go and see Twilight. I'm sure it will benefit from abridgement. I think I can handle two hours of on screen teenage angst. I deal with the three dimensional version every day.



(Robert Pattison and his handsome hair don't hurt the cause. Of course, in my heart he'll always be Cedric Diggory.)


5. I realized that I haven't mentioned my boyfriend Toby for awhile. Hey everyone, I love Toby Stephens!

Evidence...

In my defense, here's part of the interview I witnessed between Ellen and Miley Cyrus:




See. She's maybe more than kinda dumb.

Here's what I wanted to see:



Yummmmmmmmmmmy. (But no Disney tickets.)

So what did YOU do this weekend?

This weekend was my brother David's 30th birthday, and he's kinda taking the loss of his youth this way:



So, in honor of St. David's Day (November 17) we took a little road trip



in order to dance with this lady:



On our way to see her we went to the best donut shop in the world The


(In Yucca Valley, California if you want to make a pilgrimage)

Then we went to watch our nephew Curtis'



game. I must say that he's improved since the last time I watched him play (2 years ago). He scored a goal and stopped a couple as goalie.

That night we ate at the best restaurant in the world



Then, on Sunday after church we (now including Christy) drove to Mission Viejo to stay with Jena's Aunt Lynda and Uncle Steve. They made us feel instantly welcome, had a lovely guest bed, and Aunt Lynda introduced Christy and I to Michael Ball in concert on dvd. I learned a lot.



For instance, did you know that he's had no formal voice training? Also, his dimples may actually go on for miles. Oh, and his version of "Hot Stuff"? Not actually very hot, but very very very amusing.

On Monday (yes, I took a personal day. I love my brother that much) we drove to Burbank and went on a WB Back lot tour where we saw this:




and this:



And the place where this:



is filmed.

Then, after a lunch we went to the Ellen taping, where we hoped to see these guys:



But instead, saw this girl:



We were understandably disappointed until she told us that we'd each be getting two tickets to



and then we became huge fans. Just kidding. She's annoying (in that, "Oh my gosh I am just the most darling thing in the universe!" way), and kinda dumb.

Then, on the way home we stopped at



and our happiness was complete.

Love you David! Thanks for inviting me along. I now can say that I have danced with Ellen.