This past Wednesday I awoke at the altogether too early hour I always do (when I don't want to frighten small children by my appearance) and chose to wear my long, silvery black skirt. My reasons for wearing said skirt were threefold:
1. It was a cold day, it's long, and when paired with my black boots offers nearly as much warmth as my two work worthy pairs of pants I'd worn the two days previous.
2. It's comfortable and I knew that I'd need to go directly from school (work) to school (UNLV) and would be wearing whatever I chose for over 13 hours by the time all was said and done.
3. It was clean, and I had a shirt that matched
So, good. Done. Out the door. It wasn't until 3rd or 4th period that I realized that I had worn this same skirt (albeit with a different top) the Wednesday before. At first, it was just an interesting thought. "Hmmmm. How funny. I wore this skirt LAST Wednesday." Last Wednesday. When I had my first session of CIS 705 (Secondary Education Curriculum sounds like a facinating and exciting class, no?). Then I realized "I WORE THIS SAME SKIRT FOR THE ONLY OTHER MEETING OF THIS CLASS EVER!"
I know that in all actuality no one from class will remember
a. me
or
b. my skirt
But it still really freaked me out. I decided that I need to plan better. Maybe I need to write up a skirt schedule of some kind so that I don't end up accidentally wearing the same skirt every week and become THAT girl. . . you know,
Generic Student #1 "I just LOVED that presentation by Long Silvery Black Skirt Girl."
Generic Student #2 "Which girl?"
GS #1 "You know. The girl that wears the same skirt every week to class? What is WITH her?"
GS #2 "Oh yes, I know who you're talking about. She's weird. Let's throw things at her!"
I can easily imagine this scenario (other than the "let's throw things at her" part) 'cause it's pretty much how my friend Becky and I amuse ourselves during the more boring stretches in classes at UNLV. But, alas, I have no Becky in my Wednesday night class, and now I'm the weirdo.
I can also imagine this scenario rather easily because I was once unfortunate enough to be a girl attending La Contenta Junior High School. *Tiffani Snottypants, one of the "cool girls" in my class, meaning she drank and smoked pot in 7th grade, owned at least 10 different pairs of Reebok high tops in a rainbow of colors, and had enough taper legged Guess Jeans to never repeat a pair in a month. In addition to these accomplishments, she felt it her duty to keep track of who wore what on which days. It was apparently also her duty to walk up to whatever unfortunate soul she found lacking and inform them (usually in the crowded quad during lunch) exactly how they had broken her laws of fashion. Her victims, rather than tell her where to stick her advice, generally slunk off in shame, KNOWING they were somehow less than human.
Now many of you will say "But you are so beautiful and fashionable! You must have been safe from Tiffani's critiques." I would have to turn to you humbly and say, "Yes, I know I'm breathtaking NOW, but Junior High (and High School, and most of my time at BYU come to think of it) was a really low point fashion and looks-wise for me." (Those of you who were there can attest to this fact.)
I was frequently Tiffani's target during 7th grade before I made friends with a girl as mean as Tiffani but much less interested in fashion. I have a theory that the only way a sweet, tender girl can make it through Junior High with any kind of self worth is to have a mean friend willing to fight off the Tiffanis of the world.
So, I've decided I have a choice. Either I give in to the Ghost of Snotty Junior High Girls Past and make up a skirt schedule, or I throw off her Yoke of Humilationd and conduct an social experiment by wearing the skirt EVERY single Wednesday and see how long it takes for people to notice.
This decision, frankly, is too much for one person to handle alone, so readers I am unveiling the first ever survey. Vote and tell me what you think. . .but you'd better hurry 'cause I've got to decide by Tuesday night when I lay out my clothes.
Thanks!!
*Not her real name
10 comments:
My vote is definitely the SKIRT CALENDAR. In middle school, I implemented the use of a a full month long calendar to keep track of my outfits. Not just the top and pants, but also accessories. My best middle school friend, *Camille, found it quite useful and I followed her very practical suggestion. Now, at 31, my schedule is a little more simple. I simply keep track of what I wear on ODD and EVEN days. Unlike our wonderful classmates at UNLV, high school kids really do keep track of what I wear on a daily basis. My strategy is basically just to mix things up enough to keep them from throwing things at me. SKIRT CALENDAR. (It also shows real organizatio, which I know will impress the AVID kids.)
*Actually, that is her real name.
Wow. That's intense, Maurs. Gosh...as much as I'd like to say, "Damn the man (or in this case, the Tiffianis), wear the same skirt every week!!", I just can't seem to do it. THE Tiffani won't be there for you to rub her nose in your revolution and the folks in your class will have no idea what you're doing unless you tell them, and then they really will think you're a freak--and for good reason. So, this is a personal thing. Will it make you feel strong to wear the same skirt and finally show all the Tiffanis out there that you will not be bound by their false world order?? I don't know if the Tiffanis care about your revolution, because they're still going to judge you. Will their judgements just make you stronger?? (shout out to Matt Dillon and "Singles!") Here's what I think: I don't think it will. I think after three weeks, you will tire of your experiment and wear something else.
I also think your dilemma must be a common pitfall for jr high and high school teachers. Having escaped high school many moons ago, I have similar fleeting thoughts, but they fleet. I don't really care anymore. I've accepted that everything I wear will be topped with a black suit coat because I have to go to court everyday, I hate suits and I refuse to spend big bucks on them. So I keep a black jacket in my office and throw it on whenever I go to court. It's become part of my description: "she's short, has long brown hair, and will probably be wearing a black jacket." Every once in awhile (about once a week, in fact, and I'm sure if anyone's paying attention, they can predict the days), I will wear a camel colored jacket or a brown tweedy jacket, but otherwise, I wear the SAMETHINGEVERYDAY and it makes my life much easier.
Wow, this comment is probably as long as your post. But this is serious stuff IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Helloooooooo!!!!
Oh yeah, my vote is for you to wear whatever you want. Don't do a skirt calendar. IT DOESN'T MATTER! If you want to, do a mental check--"hmmmm, when did I wear this last?" If it was last Wednesday, decide then if you want to wear it again or not. If you do, wear it. If you're not comfortable with that, wear something else.
There. Stop the cycle. Stop the insanity.
And one more thing: I love this post. I love hearing about the everyday neuroses that I might otherwise miss out on. I love that your blog helps me keep up to date with you and everything that's going on in that funny, brilliant brain of yours.
And another thing...nah, just kidding. I'm done posting for now. Now I'm going to finish the Pioneer Woman's "Black Heels to Tractor Wheels."
I am not sure what I am commenting on: your post or Melissa's comments/posts. :P
I made a calendar in high school where I planned out in advance what I would wear every day. Seriously. I wish I still had a copy of one of those. Because I would scrapbook it.
But Melissa is right, that was in HIGH SCHOOL. You're waaaay cooler than that.
Besides, if someone is stupid enough to call you out on it, then say: "I'm running a social experiment for a different class and you just fell into the 'high school behavior category.' Would you care to comment on other 15-year-old behaviors you may be exhibiting?"
That will get them! Zing!
Love you no matter what you wear!
Oh, also, I did used to keep track of what my teachers used to wear. So I can also see the other side of the coin.
This started in Kindergarten when Ms. Whats-Her-Face wore a shirt one day that I LOVED. It was a white and yellow striped knit with a laced up thing on the shoulder. It was very 1983 nautical. I waited and waited the whole year for her to wear it again and she never did.
Damn her.
Obviously, it can affect kids for many years to come. Maybe you should keep a calendar, Maurs - for the kids' sake.
I'm sorry I'm basically useless to you, in this, your time of need.
Aw, really, who cares? Seriously, if people have to spend THAT much energy on keeping track of what someone ELSE is wearing, then really, cable is just not enough for them and they need to get a life.
However, your post reminded me of that episode of _Seinfeld_ where Jerry dates a woman who always seems to be wearing the same black and white dress. They speculate about whether, coincidentally, Jerry's managed to see her when the dress has been washed and has come back into "the rotation."
Anyway, I wish there were school uniforms -- not for students, whose sartorial splendors I've always enjoyed, provided they don't look like pimps or hos and provided I see no parts they wouldn't display to the Pope -- but rather for teachers, so that you never. needed. to. worry.
Just my opinion.
Well- I don't have nearly as much to say as everyone else, but I just bring a pair of jeans and sweatshirt on Thursday's when I have to schlep myself down to clown college.
Skirt the issue all together...hehehe.
If that doesn't work, I'd totally wear the same thing every week.
I think wearing a long black skirt every week isn't going to make you "that girl." Any more than wearing jeans & a v-neck T-shirt everyday makes me that girl, wait, does it? Now, if it was a long broomstick skirt with a large floral print...
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