The *Poopy Clause

First of all, I'd like to say that I try not to swear on a day to day basis. I do pretty well with this (unless I'm hanging out with Jill on a regular basis. I'm not blaming Jill, we're bad influences on each other.)for the most part, but occasionally I slip.

I don't think that it's ok to use profanity when the mood hits, and I really try to find other ways of expressing myself.

There are, however, times when the only way to truly express your feelings is to use one particular profane word, and in those situations, no other word will do.

So, I'd like to codeify what I'm calling The *Poopy Clause. This clause states that you can say *poopy without any guilt feelings or judgy comments from the non-potty mouths.

Here are the types of conditions under which The Poopy Clause could be enacted:

1. You wake up at the time when you are supposed to be at work. You must run around your house throwing on clothes and trying to accomplish some semblance of your normal appearance and then attempt to break all land speed records in an attempt to make it to work as soon as possible.

2. You realize that you have forgotten a job interview/meeting/class/birthday party/family gathering that you HAVE to attend. The meeting is in 10 minutes and you are 20 minutes away.

3. You respond to an email from a co-worker/friend/partner in crime about a third co-worker/idiot/hell hound. After sending your response in which you refer to said third party as a friend of Dorothy/disco dancing drag queen you realize you sent the email to said disco dancing hell hound rather than your friend. Upon closer inspection you realize said d.d.h.h. has opened and read the email, thus embroiling not only yourself, but also your friend in scandal.

According to The *Poopy Clause you would have the right to repeat the word *poopy in tones ranging from the under-the-breath mutter to the outright scream of terror as many times as you'd like with no judging by yourself or others.

Whattaya think?

I'm sold on the idea, and I enacted the clause this morning at 6:40.

(incidentally, if Austen could vocalize actual words he'd have enacted the clause at approximately 6:45 a.m.)

*Oh, come on, we all know I don't say poopy. I can't write what I really say, my nieces and nephews read this blog. Plus, I'm G rated.