A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by
One after one; the sound of rain, and bees
Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas,
Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky -
I've thought of all by turns, and still I lie
Sleepless...
~William Wordsworth, "To Sleep"
This past Saturday I stayed up until after midnight completing my Master's Culminating Experience Portfolio. This is the project that replaces a traditional thesis, and required me to compile examples of papers, tests, lesson plans, reflections, etc. that I had completed as apart of my coursework or as a result of my coursework and then reflect in writing about each artifact. The entire portfolio fills a 3" three ring binder, and if I do say so myself, turned out quite nicely.
Anyway, after finishing this vast undertaking I was EXHAUSTED and headed to bed thinking, "Thank goodness tomorrow is Stake Conference and I can sleep an extra hour." HA!
Instead I tossed and turned, first too hot, then too cold, then my bed was too soft, then it was too hard, and this Goldilocks didn't ever find "Just Right". I took a bendryl at 2:30am and it made me even more tired and dopey, yet I still didn't sleep. At 3:30 I finally felt the beginnings of real sleep and the last time I saw on the clock before sleep took me was 3:50. I woke up at 8 am to the sounds of Austen and my brother's two dogs (I was babysitting. More on that later) crying to go outside and pee. We did so with them pulling my arms nearly out of the sockets and with me in a benadryl haze. We came back in and I fed them and went back to bed until 9 am when I got up and got ready for church.
I considered going back to bed and skipping Stake conference, but am so glad I didn't. It was the best meeting (other than General conference) I've attended in a long time and I was really touched and motivated to make some changes in my life.
When I came home I was determined to take a good long nap, but when I lay down in bed I just couldn't sleep. I was exhausted, my entire body ached from fatigue (where does insomnia hurt? EVERYWHERE.) and yet I couldn't sleep.
My sister Christy (who is one of those disgusting people who falls asleep the minute her head hits the pillow and doesn't wake up three to four times a night having to pee) called and I told her how I only got 4 hours the night before and couldn't even manage to take a nap. Because she's never had a problem sleeping she's always incredulous to hear that I can't, even though I'm so tired I want nothing more than to crawl into bed and hibernate for several months. She asked me a few questions about it and then concluded, "Something's wrong with you."
Finally. Someone other than myself had the nerve to tell me what I've known for a long time. There IS something wrong with me. Maybe some THING (singular) isn't the issue. Maybe it's more like MANY THINGS are wrong with me. What do you think? Never mind. Don't answer that question. I don't want to know.
Oh, and then there's this:
I may never sleep again. Or eat yogurt. Wouldn't want to risk it.
15 comments:
Maury I totally understand where you are coming from. Been there, done that, own the t-shirt. It is so frustrating to be so exhausted and not fall asleep. Have you tried Tylenol PM. I swear by it and use it a couple of days a week, so that I get at least a couple nights decent sleep.
Oh, I'm more than familiar with Tylenol PM. It has the same active ingredient as Benadryl, and Benadryl is cheaper. I'm so far beyond the help of Tylenol PM it's not even funny.
I hate that. Matthew is just like Christy - falls asleep the second he closes his eyes. When I'm tired in the afternoon, he suggests I take a 20 minute nap. How is that going to help if it takes me 45 minutes to fall asleep?
Congrats on finishing your project!!! I bet that feels good.
Admitting there is a problem is the first step, right? RIGHT?
There are some thingS wrong with me too. This much I do know.
In my defense, I believe I sounded much more sympathetic in person!
After discussing this same problem with a coworker today, I offer up this quote, "Maybe you are just not really tired. Maybe you don't have enough to do."
Did you rip that coworker's still beating heart out of his/her chest and scream, "WHO doesn't have enough to do?" and then kick him/her in the crotch as he/she lay dying? 'Cuz that's what I'd like to do.
But, maybe I just don't have enough to do.
Maury, Congrats on finishing your project...does that mean you are all finished with the masters work?? Or is this a step on the way? Meredith has been a poor sleeper with the fibromyalgia, she used tylenol pm for years. She's recently managed to stop all the meds and now uses melatonin for sleep. Maybe she can give you some ideas, doses, etc.
I hear ya sister. Not sure what to tell ya, I have the same problem. sometimes Tylenol PM Works. Otherwise just concentrate on your breathing and it usually works. My mind races at night and that keeps me up, the breathing helps me think of something else and I am out like a light
I'm sorry that you've been having trouble sleeping. It's not fun, but its sometimes a natural byproduct of stress and hard work. You got your project done but now you're hopped-up on adrenaline. When I get stressed I can't poo for a week. I'd almost rather not sleep. (Don't worry, I get it under control with diet, exercise, and fiber therapy. If you see me running in the morning, it's not for heart health-- it's for my colon.)
I have a book about proven treatment methods and it has a few suggestions for those who can't sleep. A few words of advice:
1. No caffeine even early in the day. I think its funny (not funny ha-ha, but funny weird) when people say they have to take a sleeping pill to sleep but they drink soda during the day.
2. Progressive relaxation.
3. Try not to stress about sleep. Sleep when you can get up and do something else instead of fussing. If you're lying in bed not sleeping you might as well pull a Lucy Cox and crochet a blanket with all that extra time.
4. I think that you already do this, but take a bath one hour before bedtime.
5. Exercise 30 minutes each day.But not within an hour or so before bedtime.
6. Don't read in bed.
Funny I dont' do any of these things, but I sleep like a baby. EXCEPT when Alyx decides she needs to bark for 10 minutes at 2:30 in the morning. Sometimes I wonder why I have dogs! Just in the wee hours of the morning!
Yeah, and last night I slept like a baby. So muc hso that I woke up at 6:40. The exact time I should ALREADY be at work! FUN! By the way, I'm lookin' good today.
Benadryl always worked for me. "Bennies," Heather and I called them during our sleepless years. But, it's kind of creepy to be hooked on bennies, and finally I was able to stop. (oh, and as long as we're talking cost-effectiveness, generic bennies work just as well as the real thing.)
Thank goodness for the poopy clause!
Oh, and what I really meant to comment on before I got sidetracked on my bennies statement (mmmm...bennies), was the Richard Simmons video! There must be something wrong with me, too, because I LOVE IT!!! I laugh my tail off every time I see it. I laughed my tail off when I watched it on your blog!
Oh, I have an industrial sized bottle of Costco brand Benadryl in my bathroom cupboard as we speak. I love the bennies too much to use them as often as I'd like. I don't want to be hooked.
Post a Comment