Ahhhh the backhanded compliment. We all know it, don't we? Someone says something to you that sounds like a compliment, but it's actually just a prettied up insult.
My personal favorite has got to be "You have SUCH a pretty FACE." This sounds nice at first, but what they're really saying is, "Too bad you are a disgusting fat tub o' lard. If you were only thin maybe someone could love you."
Even though I'm a girl with a pretty face, I have a strange appreciation for the art of the backhanded compliment. Maybe it's the pessimistic optimist in me. I usually laugh and cry a little and have a meta moment where I kind of stand outside myself and admire the workmanship of the whole thing. "Will you look at what he/she did there! He/She had me feeling good about myself and THEN went in for the kill. I may never be able to wear this outfit/come back to this place/look myself in the eye again. Wow, that's craftsmanship, is what that is!"
I have a student "J" who is the absolute MASTER of the backhanded compliment. Seriously. He should open a dojo where young seekers of snark and sarcasm could learn at his feet while they chant "You have a pretty face. Ohmmm. At least that picture's not as bad as the one in the yearbook! Ohmm. You look nice TODAY, what did you change? Ohmm." It would take years of constant and careful study to reach his levels, though.
Today as he left my classroom for the last time as an English II Honors student he said, his voice dripping with sincerity, "You are the best English teacher I've ever had." I started to tear up at this sweet, heartfelt comment. "He's finally going to give me an ACTUAL compliment!" I thought, and my heart felt all warm and squishy in the 2.5 seconds between his first statement and this one
"Yeah, I've had REALLY crappy English teachers before."
Ahhhh "J" YOU GOT ME!!
Do YOU have any good backhanded compliment stories? Share in the comments!
2 comments:
You are so witty! & that is just a plain ol' sincere compliment! One of my favorites backhands is "You look nice TODAY." Why do they have to add TODAY? or "You look really good with makeup." Thankyou! Wait, what??? & yes, I've actually had that said to me. That's why I rarely wear any - I don't want it to be too much of a shock for people when they see me without it.
usually I get some variation of "wow, you're good for a public defender" or "I thought I was going to have to hire a real lawyer, but you've done a good job." ummm...thanks, buddy.
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