I've been replaced.
We've all heard the stories. The noble, hardworking, loving woman replaced for a younger, prettier, less demanding model. I just never thought it would happen to me.
You see, I was sick yesterday with Ohmygoshitismayandihavetonotworkthismondayitis.
It's serious.
Because of the time of year I considered coming in even in my weakened condition. I was worried that there might not be a sub to take the job. A sub did take the job, however, so I was able to put my fears aside and convalesce in peace.
I came back to school today looking forward to the first day back after a sub euphoria from my students. It ALWAYS happens. They tell me how stupid/dorky/mean/idiotic the sub was and I make sympathetic noises and play "My Heart Bleeds for You" on the tiniest violin in the world.
This did not happen. First of all, I got the nicest note I've ever recieved from a sub telling me how wonderful my lesson plans were, how much she enjoyed my students, etc. She even specifically mentioned how much she liked my AVID class. MY AVID CLASS??
Then my 2nd period class came in and told me, "We loved the sub. You should have her again." Which is nice and all, but what it means is that they want me to go away. I reasoned, "This is just 2nd period. They're buttheads. Of course they want me to go away. I make them do work."
But next was my sweet sweet 3rd period with Lucy who wants to be my best friend and the two boys that regularly tell me how smokin' hot I am. They said the SAME THING. That hurt. It really really hurt.
I found out that Lucy asked the sub to go shopping and to the movies with her and the dynamic duo hit on her. They said, "You should have her back again before the end of the year. She's like you, but younger and hotter".
Oooooooooooh the shame. "She's like you, but YOUNGER AND HOTTER "!
I wish they'd just called me fat.
I guess it's time for me to go back to college, get some plastic surgery, and buy a new convertible. . . at least that's what all of the other discarded women I know do.
(**** Update: I just found out that the sub was cool because she
1. Used profanities
2. Let my 8th period class out 5 minutes early.
I think this is what it feels like to have your ex's new 21 year-old wife watch the kids. )
8 comments:
I used to sub at San Jacinto High School when my class was off track (year-round schooling). And I absolutely hated it. If I could have felt good about myself, I would have
1) Used profanities
2) Let them out 5 minutes early.
Let's face it. A sub does not have a long-term commitment to your class. A sub's very survival is based on whether or not he/she can pretend to be cool for 50 minutes at a time for an entire day. They have no pull. Some teachers even tell their students "Don't listen to the sub." I'm not joking. It is absolutely the worst way to make... like 100 bucks in 8 hours. I will never EVER do it again.
I bet she has cellulite. Hefer.
Hey... I was thinking about becoming a substitute at my kids elementary school in 2 years when mason goes to school full time... It's only $50 a day since I dont' have a teaching credential....
wow..,. maybe I shall rethink!
Matthew had some strong opinions on the subject.
Matthew, Matthew, Matthew,
I think you're projecting some frustration here. I am not condemning substitutes. I'm not even condemning this girl. But to be fair:
1. She didn't use profanities because of frustration at my students. She used them in casual conversation, and
2. She didn't let them out early 'cause she couldn't take any more. She let them out early to be "cool"
AND... my lesson plans required no work on her part. The kids were working on projects in groups.
So, I don't really feel bad for her AT ALL. Also, this was a post about ME!! ME!!! Not about the evils of subbing.
Oh, Maury -- There's no substitute for you! (get it) I bet you are an amazing teacher. They'll forget all about her before you know it. Besides, they might not realize just how incredibly cool you are. Maybe you need to do our "Dancing Queen" routine for them!
Yeah, I'm sure the "Dancing Queen" routine would nail the whole "cool" thing for them. Teenagers LOVE it when "old" people dance. :)HA!
Jamie,
just don't sub in high school or EVEN WORSE junior high.
Mom really liked subbing, as do a lot of other people. Matthew and I are not people you should talk to about subbing as we both HATE it.
Ditto what Sioux said.
Actually, I didn't mnd subbing in elementary school ever, it's just that once they find out that you WILL sub in middle and highschool, that's all they call you to do. I subbed everyday for about 3 months durring one year while I was off-track from teaching. I only got calls to take elementary kids 4 or 5 times.
So, yeah, I hated it. I may never do it again, but-- in the same situation-- I'd probably sub elementary only again.
Post a Comment