Valentine's Day: The Spinster English Teacher's Viewpoint

(Thanks Melissa!)

I used to hate Valentine's Day, then I loathed it.

Now?

I don't really know.

I do know that I hate teaching teenagers on Valentine's day. There is so much drama, so many conversation hearts and enormous mylar balloons with cartoon animals on them. Right now I'm looking at a balloon decorated with a tattooed cartoon wolf wearing a t-shirt that says "Bad to the Bone!" holding rose between his teeth like a cigarette with the words "I'm all yours! Baby!" emblazoned next to his head. Oh yeah, and it plays "Bad to the Bone" if you hit it.

This creates a dilemma for me, as I want to punch it every time I see it (which will be all day 'cause I'm holding it for one of my AVID kids who, for some unfathomable reason, doesn't want to walk around school all day with it. Hmmmmm 'can't figure that one out.), but must refrain in order to NOT hear that song over and over again.

Life is full of challenges.

A few years ago when my friend Helen was in the blissful first year with her now husband she called me on February 15 and said, "Guess what I got for Valentines? Guido bought me a heart pendant from Tiffany's! It's so pretty!"

I responded, "Really? I got a cherry Blowpop and two Scooby Doo valentines!" I wish I could say that I was exaggerating for bitter spinstery effect, but alas, it was true.

Valentine's day has become the day when my students pity me and my solitary red-rose-and-conversation-heart free life. It's the day when my sweetest girls cock their head to the side and ask, "Miss, do you have a Valentine? Don't you get lonely? Don't you EVER want to get married and have kids?"

Annnnnnnnnnd this year, Valentine's is the day when I will go to a singles conference trolling for men.

I think it's safe to say this isn't my favorite day all year, but it does give good copy.

So Cute I Just Might Die...

Seriously. . . so cute:



I don't know what it is about this little girl, but she kills me. Maybe it's the fish lips? The fact that her little voice reminds me of my niece? I don't know. But I do know that I need to lie down 'cause I'm weak from the cuteness.

3 Things.... Maybe 4

1. A Co-Worker called me "Beautiful" today. Due to my intense middle child insecurities, this made me think happy thoughts instead of ones that said, "That's kind of inappropriate in the workplace." I really should have been icked out 'cause he's old enough to be my father, has a comb over, wears old man pants, and is a bit on the lecherous side, but hey! I've gotta take 'em where I can get 'em.

2. I was asked to be a guest speaker for a Master's class at UNLV last night. I shared strategies for critical thinking, and it went really well. I always get soooooo nervous before I present anything like that, but as soon as I start I remember how much I love teaching teachers. They are a great audience if you can help them see the need for the information you have to share.

3. I'm in the middle of teaching research papers to sophomores, so that means that I'm partly done with teaching research papers to sophomores. That's the most cheery thing I can think to say about that. (How hard is it, really, to write a works cited page? I even gave them the link to a citation builder that does the work for them, AND showed them how to use it. I mean, really!!!)

4. My gun totin' neighbor came home Monday. I'm trying to be ok with that and sleep at night. Last night, for the first time since the incident, I fell asleep without too much anxiety. Progress!!

Hanging out at the Gas N' Sip on a Friday Night

Raise your hand if you:

1. Were awoken on Friday night/Saturday morning by three police officers who, while pointing sniper rifles at your neighbor's window, tell you to get your shoes and coat and evacuate your apartment as soon as possible.

2. Were directed to run along your fence line and leave your complex through a side gate with several of your neighbors.

3. Got to sit in the 7-11 parking lot in your jammies at 2:30 am while it rained on you

4. Attempted to take a nap while sitting in a video poker machine at 3 am.

5. Sat on an empty city bus with your neighbors while the SWAT team had your neighbor's apartment surrounded.

6. Finally got to sleep at 6 am only to be woken two hours later by a puppy with a full bladder.

7. No longer feel completely safe in your home.

Anyone?

Anyone?
Hmmmm.

So, JUST ME then.

On Friday it seems that my neighbor (who has always scared me a little because of his scary tattoos and bumper stickers and who I have been trying to not judge on appearance alone) lost his mind on Friday night (with the help of liberal doses of drugs and alcohol) and holed up in his apartment with a gun (now I don't feel so bad about judging him on appearance. Ha! I love being justified in my prejudices.). I guess his downstairs neighbor called the police because he was shouting and, from the noises coming from his apartment, seemed to be attempting to break through every wall in his apartment. The police attempted to get him to come out and when he wouldn't, evacuated those of us within shooting range. I still don't have a lot of information, as the police weren't, for obvious reasons, very forthcoming. I don't know if his two very young children were with him or if anyone was hurt.

I don't know what the outcome was.

I do know that I was scared.

I do know that they wouldn't let me take Austen with me and I had a mini-freak out about it.

I do know that I spent Saturday in a fog brought on by a combination of sleep deprivation and shock.

I do know that I appreciate these guys:


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more than I ever have.

I do know that I've never been happier to see these guys:


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coming down the road and knowing that they were taking care of things.

I've got to say that although I was never in any real danger, this experience has made me really think about how fragile life really is. It made me think about what I do and do not want to spend my time on earth doing, and what I don't want to put off any longer.

Don't worry. I'm going to stop philosophizing here. But let me just finish by saying, I am certainly glad to be alive today.

(Thanks David, Jillian, and Christy for not being upset when I texted you at 2:30 in the morning to tell you that I was scared and sitting in the 7-11 parking lot. I am especially grateful that David was sick to his stomach and couldn't sleep so that he was awake and talked to me for about 40 minutes of the 3 hours I sat in the 7-11 parking lot. You helped keep hysteria at bay and see the humor in the situation)

The Sisterhood of the Patchwork Purse

Tonight I got a chance to hang out with Meredith, one of my favorite peeps in the world. Meredith and I grew up together, but I haven't seen her in years, so it was really nice to hang out and party like the rock stars we are. We talked about the upcoming Single Adult Conference I'm going to next week "Lay Hold Upon Every Good Gift" (subtitle: "But Don't Get Your Hopes Up, Lady"), went to Panda Express, Ate Frozen Yogurt, and because I'd so admired her brandy new purse, went shopping together:



We decided it was ok to be matchy matchy since we live about 2,000 miles away from each other



And $16.00 for a soft as buttah leatha purse? Fuggettaboutit



I know you're all jealous. And you should be.

Meredith, it was a blast! Let's not wait so long to get together next time!!

Realization #24560837532: Tuesday Night Television Stinks.

For the past two years I've fairly consistently had class on Tuesday nights. This means I didn't get home until nearly 8pm when I had to cook dinner (snort! Unless going through drvie through at In-N-Out Burger or Del Taco counts as "cooking dinner" I'm a total liar), feed the dog, go to the dog park, take a bath, pick out my clothes for school the next day, do a little homework, and then fall into bed hopefully before midnight and try to sleep.

This means that I have not attempted to watch primetime television on Tuesday night for a long time. This is what I've discovered: I haven't been missing much.

I'm going to come right out and say it: I HATE AMERICAN IDOL. I have NEVER watched it, except when I was visiting my sister Jamie during the season where they voted off Jennifer Hudson but crowned a bundle of crazy named Fantasia Barrino. Hmmmmmm....



Loser?




Winner?

And this one



decides who has musical talent? Hmmmmmmm.

Then there's this show:



that I can't watch 'cause it hits too close to home. On several levels.

I could watch the new 90210, but I fear that in so doing I would open up a shame spiral so large it would suck me and everything within 3 miles down into its shadowy depths. I don't want that on my conscience.

If I stay awake until 9 I guess I could watch Scrubs, but frankly, it's changed times and now networks too many times for me to give a crap.

So there you go. I know this is n't the end of the world, but now that I actually have couch time, I'd like to enjoy it. Instead, I'll have to read a book or something.

Insert Klever Title Here...

This post has taken me AGES to finish. It began when I saw a "D"elightful post on Melissa's blog listing ten things she loves that start with the letter "D" and signed up to do one of my own.

Little did I know how truly difficult this whole "name 10 things that start with a particular letter" thing would be. I apologize that it's taken me so darn long, but if you know me at all, you know I have to overthink everything. This was no exception.

So, here they are in no particular order, things that I love that start with :

1. Kilts. I love them. I love the way men look when they wear them. I love the land they come from.

I know not everyone feels this way, but I just can't understand it. How can you look at a picture like this:

and not love them too? Seriously. Look at him.

They also remind me of my first trip to Scotland when I fell in love with the land o' the kilt

Gorgeous, init? My favorite memory of our day in Edinburgh was when a mentally handicapped Chinese man traveling with our group repeatedly told our kilt-wearing Scottish guide "That's a very nice skirt!" It went over EXTREMELY well with our very manly guide, let me tell you.

2. Kings Cross Station



First of all, I love all of the Victorian train stations in London. They contain beautiful architecture, a tremendous sense of history, and delightful almond croissants. They also offer the promise of adventure. What sets Kings Cross apart, in my humble opinion, is the fact that they've added this:



I love that they've created something that serves no purpose other than to delight Harry Potter loving tourists. Speaking of ole' H. P. can I mention that I'm incredibly excited about this:

?

Yes? Thanks!

Finally, I chose Kings Cross Station because it is a small part London, a city that I love more than my luggage. I could go back every year and still not see everything. I love that.

3. Krasinski, John and Kapoor, Kelly. Ok, you all know I love The Office.

I credit John Krasinski (who I'd like to marry me and father my babies) for initially hooking me. I love his flippy hair and smirky face. I loved watching him, as Jim, pine over Pam, and I love watching him be engaged to her. I love the tricks he plays on Dwight. I love him.

But, after watching for 4 years now, there's another character who I love nearly as much. Jim hooked me, but Kelly Kapoor keeps me laughing, week after week. Kelly is the annoying, shallow, celebrity and self-obsessed girl you'd hate to be assigned to work with, and that's the very reason she's so much fun to watch.

Here's a clip to show you what I'm talking about. It's long, but even if you just watch a little you'll see what I mean.

When I also consider that the amazing Mindy Kaling, who plays Kelly, wrote several of my FAVORITE episodes including:

"The Dundies", "The Injury", and "Branch Wars"

I love her even more.

4. Keeping the Moon (and anything else by Sarah Dessen)




I love Young Adult Literature in general, but Sarah Dessen's are, in my opinion, the best of the lot.

I've spent the last ten years of my life working with teenagers, and while they are hilarious and brilliant, they just aren't as snappy and witty as they are generally portrayed. That's part of what I love about Sarah Dessen's books. Her characters are real. They talk, eat, behave. . . . etc. like the teenagers I know. I like that although there's always resolution at the end of these books they aren't tied up with a big happy bow.




5. Kelly, Reckless Kelly.



I've already written at length about these guys. All I want to add is that my love has only grown since October when I wrote that post. I love them I love them I love them.

6. King, Jillian King:



I love this girl in general, but this particular picture makes me so happy I could weep. Posting this might be strike number three for our friendship and require me to take an online course, but I don't care. Plus, Jillian, you know you told me to put you on the list. (I would have anyway. Probably.)

7. K-9's in general, Austen in particular



I've had dogs for most of my life, and I must say that life is measurably more fulfilling and happy with them than without. When my Scouter died I tried to look on the bright side and think of the freedom I'd have as a pet free individual. While it's true that being dogless allowed me easier travel, less responsibility, and a year of hair free clothing and furniture, my life was much emptier than I could possibly imagine. During this time I struggled through a profound depression. I know that getting Austen, in large measure, is what helped me pull through that time without the use of antidepressants.

I say that even though he did this:





and this:




and this:




to my furniture this in 1 1/2 hours this past Saturday while I went out to breakfast with friends.

8. Knits



It's ironic how much I love scarves, sweaters, and knit caps considering the fact that I was raised in Southern California and now live in Las Vegas. My fashion sense is much more suited to the East Coast or the British Isles than the Southwest, but what can you do?



Kill me now. Krasinski in knits? Fuggettaboutit.


9. Kitsch


I delight in kitsch. Because I also have impeccable taste (ahem) I resist buying much of the kitsch I desire (I had to talk myself out of a pendant of the Tardis this week), although I do own the following:



In magnet form on my refrigerator (he's the official Lowe Family Elvis)

and this postcard:



That I couldn't resist buying from the Liberace Museum Gift Shop. What can I say? I'm patriotic.

I also enjoy this Kitsch



But that's another story.


10. Kitchen

The kitchen is my favorite room in the house.

1. I love to cook/bake. Annnnnnnnnd I'm really good at it.

2. When I was growing up the kitchen was a place that we'd gather to talk, often with several of us sitting on the countertops, about anything and everything.

3. The kitchen is where the Kitchenaid Mixer lives:



That's it. My list. It was more work AND more fun than I thought it would be to come up with.

Okay, so if you want to join in the blogging fun, just post a comment and ask me for a letter. I'll randomly assign you one and you can post your own list of things you love!